Why Small Groups?/What Makes a Great Leader?

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C H A P T E R F O U R

WHAT MAKES A GREAT LEADER?

M A R K  M U L L E R Y

The golf course was right where the freeway should have been. I would normally enjoy finding myself at a golf course, but not under these particular circumstances.You see, my wife Lesley and I had been visiting a friend and gotten lost driving home. We didn’t have a map. Themore we wandered around the countryside, the darker it got. After enough wrong turns to frighten our children, we finally found the missing freeway (maybe somebody had moved it), and headed for home—way behind schedule. So it goes when you’ve lost your way: tensions rise, time is wasted. Leading small groups really isn’t very different. In order to be effective, the group must have a clear direction. More specifically, the leader must have a clear direction. And whether you are a group leader orone of the members, it’s essential that you understand what the position of leadership involves.

Let’s Start at the Beginning…

What is the small-group leader’s purpose? As you lookback on a meeting—or a year’s worth of meetings—how will you know if you’ve been successful? What do your pastors want the group to accomplish? Without a clear understanding of its purpose, your small group will wander here and there without any sense of mission. In our church, one thing we’ve done to avoid such aimlessness is to set forth a clear definition. Our small-group leaders are in place…to extend the pastoral ministry of our church...by providing a context...in which to apply God’s Word... so that growth, care, and relationships may occur.

Every component of this definition is significant, solet’s look at each of them in turn.To extend pastoral ministry. Scripture teaches thatchurches are like flocks of sheep with shepherds to watchover them. These shepherds, also known as pastors, arecharged by God to lead, feed, and care for the people Godentrusts to them. In all but the smallest churches, thisimmense task is too difficult for one or even a few people.Moses found this out when he tried single-handedly tosolve the problems of a few million Israelites during their40-year trek through the wilderness. Moses’ father-in-law Jethro came and counseled him,What you are doing is not good. You and these peoplewho come to you will only wear yourselves out…select capable men from all the people—men whofear God, trustworthy men who hate dishonest gain—and appoint them as officials over thousands, hun-dreds, fifties and tens. Have them serve as judges forthe people at all times, but have them bring everydifficult case to you; the simple cases they candecide themselves…If you do this and God so com-mands, you will be able to stand the strain, and allthese people will go home satisfied (Ex 18:17-23). By Jethro’s insight, which constitutes a primary biblicaldefinition of leadership, Moses learned how to provide theIsraelites with superior care, and live longer himself inthe process!It is God’s design that every pastor identify and traintrustworthy men who fear God, investing them with realauthority and responsibility to extendthe pastoral ministry of the church. AsMoses learned (and New Testamentexamples show the same), this is donemost effectively through small groups.Small groups serve a local churchimmeasurably by bringing each mem-ber into ongoing relationships withtrained and gifted small-group leaderswho can serve and equip them in manyways. In this manner, the pastors arebetter able to concentrate on the min-istry of God’s Word and equipping oth-ers for ministry.  However, pastors should neverbecome disconnected, and they shouldremain available to deal with the difficult issues as they arise. That availability releases thesmall-group leaders from any false notions that they arenow expected to function as pastors. Their job is to repre-sent the pastors, not replace them. By providing a context. Recently, I was in a restaurantwith a menu featuring beautiful, glossy, full-color picturesof chocolate milk shakes. I like chocolate milk shakes. Iwas psyched. When it came my turn to order, the waitresssaid—to my surprise—that she was unable to serve me amilk shake. Now, in this restaurant there was milk, ice cream,chocolate syrup, and a hungry customer—every ingredi-ent necessary for the sale and thankful consumption of achocolate milk shake. Unfortunately for me, there was noway to bring all these elements together. The milk shakemachine was broken. Church life can be like this. You can have great preach-ing and teaching, trained leaders, and hungry Christians.But if you don’t have a context where all the elements canbe combined, you face disappointment.

Sunday meetings are obviously great times for God’sWord to be preached, but where and how will the Word beapplied? Sunday meetings are great places for people tocome together, but how willthese people move frombeing mere acquaintances tobecoming accountable toone another? Sunday meet-ings present great opportu-nities for the ministry of theSpirit but, logistically, howcan everyone exercise theirunique, God-given gifts? Itjust wouldn’t work. Small groups provide an excellent context in which topursue many of the vital goals of church life that are diffi-cult, if not impossible, to pursue on Sunday mornings.And the small-group leader provides an invaluable serviceto the church by facilitating that process.To apply God’s Word. The Bible is our guide for faithand practice. Only the Bible teaches what God requires ofus and what we must believe about God. No other book issufficient to equip us with all we need to live by God’sgrace and for God’s glory. Accordingly, small groups inthe church I serve are built around God’s Word. Themembers often use meetings to explore more deeply theteaching they receive on Sunday mornings. For Christ to be formed in us we must apprehend God’s truth and thenapply it to our lives. Therefore our groups often featurediscussions that help us to understand God’s Word andapply it practically to our daily lives.So that growth, care, and relationships may occur.There are lots of small groups meeting these days. FromAlcoholics Anonymous to your local chapter of Hell’sAngels, folks gather for a variety of reasons. Scripture pro-vides three good reasons to gather in small groups: topromote sanctification, to extend care, and to develop truefellowship. Small groups aren’t the only places in the lifeof the church where growth, care, and relationships arefurthered, but they are vital ones. They provide a contextin which God’s Word can be applied personally and practi-cally, where friendships can blossom and grow, and wherenon-christians can experience something of the life ofGod’s people. This truth affects our definition of whatmakes for an effective small-group leader.Success in leading a small group isn’t measured by howmany are in the group, how fast it grows numerically, orhow frequently it meets, but by whether the members ofthe group are increasingly dying to sin and living to righ-teousness. A great small group is not one where peopleare wowed by the Bible knowledge of the leader, but onewhere people take a genuine interest in the lives of othersin the group. A model meeting isn’t one that goes on forthree hours because the leader lets the discussion rangeacross a dozen topics, but one that ends with membersconfessing sins and applying biblical truth to everydayareas of their lives.

Four Easy Ways to Ruin a Small Group

Failure in leadership isn’t difficult. For most of us itcomes rather naturally. So here, with tongue plantedfirmly in cheek, are a few proven suggestions that willenable you to ruin your group in record time:Tip #1: Do it all yourself. Training others is hard work.It takes time. Frequently those upstarts don’t do thingsexactly the way you would, which of course is totallyunacceptable. They might even try new things! Plus, ask-ing people to help out can be intimidating. So wouldn’t itbe easier just to do it all yourself? If this doesn’t work,here’s another suggestion: do nothing at all! Save yourpreparation for the last minute…so it’ll be fresh! Skimthe reading while you comb your hair; work out discussion sion questions in your mind during worship. Nobody willknow the difference.Tip #2: Strive to become a self-contained mini-church.Small groups can be a great outlet for the ambitious butfrustrated leader. Instead of seeing yourself as part of ateam—working in concert with other small groups to glo-rify God by fulfilling the vision God has given your pastors—imagine yourself as the only one who really understandsGod’s will and direction for your group. Make every effortto build into the group members a unique loyalty to youand your personal style of leadership. Keep yourself (yourspecial charm and wisdom) at the center of everythingthat happens. Try to make your group self-sufficient sopeople won’t feel the need to participate in other aspectsof church life. One great way to do thisis to plan so many events that peopleare always busy doing group-relatedthings. It’s especially effective to set upevents that overlap with other church-wide events, causing members to haveto choose pretty regularly between,say, a camping trip with your groupand the church’s Sunday meeting.Tip #3: Have all the answers.During discussions, you as a leader caneasily ruin a meeting by showing offyour extensive knowledge of b i b l i c a l ,theological, historical, and sports trivia.When someone poses a question, jumpright on it so everyone can beimpressed with your keen mind. (Ifyou wait too long, somebody elsemight take a shot at it and an actualdiscussion might ensue!) Above all, tryto keep the meetings in an “ask the expert” format. Theyshould hang on your every word. If you don’t know theanswer to a question, never let on. Just finesse it. Twoeffective approaches are either to insinuate it was a dumbquestion in the first place, or re-direct the question sothat someone else is embarrassed rather than you.Tip #4: Go easy on the encouragement. As everyoneknows, encouragement brings life into a meeting likespringtime brings flowers. That’s why you want to avoid itat all costs. One effective strategy is to remain so focusedon yourself and your “performance” as leader that yousimply don’t notice anyone else. Another is to set up somany rules, guidelines, and expectations that no one can possibly deserve encouragement. Perhaps best of all, maketime to point out people’s faults and shortcomings, whileoverlooking the grace of God in their lives. If you do, I canguarantee you that failure is just around the corner.Certainly there are many more ways to wreck a goodsmall group. I trust the comic approach used here is ahelpful reminder that God has invested leaders with agreat deal of responsibility. Though you are not expectedto replace the pastor, you do represent him, and yourbehavior will have more influence on the life of the groupthan anyone else’s. This awareness should motivate you todeepen your foundation in God’s grace, put to death thesin that still dwells in you, and cling tightly to the HolySpirit who alone can give you the power to know God anddie to sin. Further, in your role as leader you will set thepace for your group in humility. Be honest and vulnerableabout your struggles and sins, and aggressively seek outevaluation both from your group and your pastor. Try ask-ing these people, “How can I serve you better?”