A Father’s Guide to Family Vacations

From Gospel Translations

As vacation season approaches for many families, godly fathers aim to plan time off with holy intentionality. They look to lead their family so that vacation serves God’s purposes, not the American Dream’s.

But wait — isn’t holy intentionality at odds with taking vacations? For that matter, what makes something like a vacation holy?

Holy things, including holy vacations, are set apart for uncommon use. They are not necessarily focused on spiritual rituals but are marked and enhanced by purposeful, God-centered planning and decisions that distinguish holy things from ordinary practices (1 Timothy 4:4–5). When we plan a vacation with holy intentionality, we heed Paul’s words in 1 Corinthians 10:31:

Whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do [including planning a vacation], do all to the glory of God.

A family can attend soccer camp to the glory of God, but it takes planning. Placing God in the center of vacation preparations, choices, expenditures, and activities does not happen by accident.

Receive the Gift of Rest

Right after his disciples engaged in strenuous ministry, Jesus set aside time for them to rest from their labor: “Come away by yourselves to a desolate place and rest a while” (Mark 6:31). Our need for rest reminds us that we are not self-sufficient. God invites us to enjoy sabbaticals, respite, vacations, and rest.

Wisdom instructs us to rest in ways that are holy, intentionally different from the way the world rests. And the first intentional step to take with vacations is to ensure that the overall rhythm of our work life doesn’t omit vacations altogether. Men who love their work can easily tinker with it 365 days a year. The passions of the flesh can beget workaholism.

The Sabbath was God’s idea. God designed an interplay between labor and rest, including a proportionality that benefits both. Diligent labor sweetens rest, and rest reinvigorates fruitful labor. Both the labor and the rest honor God and his design. So, unwind your tight spring, set down the work project, unroll your sleeping bag, and relax. For the sake of your children, model the value of rest.

A dad is always shaping his children (at every age) by what he says, what he does, what he refrains from doing, what he prioritizes — in a word, what he treasures. And how a man rests (or not) reveals a lot about his treasure.

Dads Beware

How then might we plan vacations to God’s glory? Let’s consider first some common dangers.

Beware of splurging irresponsibly. Taking out a second mortgage to fund a dream vacation ends up as a nightmare. When our children were still living at home, our vacation travels nearly always paired with my ministry travels. I took the family along when I was headed to a conference or denominational meeting. For example, when I was invited to preach for a month in Russia, I received permission to bring my entire family. It’s not the only way to go, but it enabled us to travel on a modest budget.

Don’t mistake vacations for final rest. That’s still in the future. All the best vacation spots will eventually be dissolved (2 Peter 3:11). Disney World, the lodge at Yellowstone National Park, the Eiffel Tower, the Alaskan cruise ship — all will pass away. Wise dads don’t make them into ultimate pleasures but treat them as pointers to a more lasting city, to “new heavens and a new earth in which righteousness dwells” (2 Peter 3:13).

Beware of FOMO (fear of missing out). We’re never been to Hawaii, so we’re going. Many a saint has been joyfully fruitful all the way to glory without once setting foot on the white sands of Waikiki or the streets of Rome. So, don’t let society set your agenda. Go where you and yours will have the best opportunity to enjoy God.

The goal of good vacations is not to check all the boxes in the travel magazine published by the hospitality gurus, who love your business and have a wonderful plan for your money. Abandon efforts to keep up with the proverbial Joneses. Instead, use your vacations to become more like Jesus. Read about him. Talk about him. Sing about him.

If then you have been raised with Christ, seek the things that are above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth. (Colossians 3:1–2)

Don’t sweat trying to design the best vacation ever. Great benefits can accrue to a child just from spending time with Dad. When I was teaching sixth grade in a public school, an over-the-road trucker asked if his child could be excused for a couple of days to make a run with him. I readily said yes, totally convinced that the child would benefit more from that “business” trip with Dad — reading road maps, experiencing some geography, observing the adult (non-school) world — than from sitting in my classroom pondering conjunctions.

Shadowing Dad might not seem like a vacation to Dad, but it may be a very memorable and profitable holiday for junior. And fostering Christlike maturity in junior is the purpose of fatherhood.

Steps Toward Holy Intentionality

Now, common dangers aside, what positive steps might we consider taking toward holy intentionality? And keep in mind, intentionality and real rest need not be at odds with one another. Vacation should not turn out to be more work than work.

First, use the time for family discipleship. Read the Bible. Memorize passages together. Sing. Play games. Visit ministry centers from soup kitchens to the world headquarters of parachurch ministries. Visit historic sites that stand as markers of God’s past faithfulness. Granted, it won’t work to save up all your discipling efforts for vacation slots. That must be happening throughout the warp and woof of life, but vacations can provide special opportunities for seeking God together.

While pointing your family toward God, avoid the false dilemma of acting like Godwardness must necessarily pinch off playfulness. Oh, the memorable delights of playing together, laughing together, skiing behind grandpa’s boat, taking family photos, or donning aprons together and with thanks to God trying a new recipe for apple pie.

Second, take a vacation from technology. Technology will consume all the time you are willing — or seduced — to give it, so set an arbitrary limit and turn it off. Give your eyes a break, and give others around you more direct personal attention. Or read. I know a family who removed their large screen from the wall and put it away for a season, and it freed them to find other interesting things to do.

Third, find some way to record the memories. Cameras and journals can capture memorable and worthwhile vacations. Certain moments will never be repeated. Preserve them, celebrate them, memorialize them.

Fourth, get counsel from others. Ask other dads for ideas and experiences they found beneficial for their families. And in laying your plans and implementing them, be sure to listen carefully to your wife. She has a huge stake in this. For one thing, don’t wear her out, as she may find herself taking care of extra arrangements, packing, doing laundry away from home, and engaging in heightened motherly watchfulness when the kids are in airports or camping near open water or in bear country.

Holy intentionality plans time for Mom to rest. Perhaps she would like time alone, or concert tickets, or just space to put her feet up (literally) for a spell. When trying to come up with ideas that would be restful and refreshing for Mom, some families have discovered an overlooked idea: Ask her what she would find restful.

Finally, don’t neglect strategic napping. This is, after all, vacation for you as well. After investing your hours the way you should, let the one who never sleeps watch over your interests while you rest.

Earthly vacations don’t last forever. Upon returning home, invite your family to join you in thanking God for each opportunity.