Preparing for Marriage: Help for Christian Couples/Editor’s Preface

From Gospel Translations

Preparing well for marriage means asking each other all the hard questions.

Getting to know that special someone includes learning about family and friends and schooling and athletics, favorite pastimes, books, movies, life’s best moments and worst, the brightest places in our background and the darkest.

But what about theology? Ever think to ask about that?

At Desiring God, one of our most accessed pages online is a set of questions John Piper put together for couples preparing for marriage (chapter 1 in this eBook). There is some of the typical stuff—like friends and entertainment and lifestyle and children—but many have found that John’s way of putting the question helps get right at some pretty deep stuff.

And then there’s the questions about theology, worship and devotion, and the roles of husband and wife—questions that far too many couples don’t think to ask. When preparing for marriage, or even in just beginning to consider it, it is of immense help to have the perspective not only of a seasoned husband of over 40 years, but also a seasoned pastor and theologian.

This is a short eBook. Our vision for it is humble. Our hope is that a few couples, whether dating and considering marriage, or engaged and preparing for marriage, would find some benefit here, get to know each other better in some of life’s most significant matters, and be more fit to discern God’s leading for their lives.

We packaged three additional resources with the marriage questions hoping to enrich your preparation. Chapter 2 is perhaps John Piper’s single most important message on marriage. There he goes more macro than many of us have ever dared to go in thinking about what marriage is, and what God designed it for. This is a super important chapter.

Sexual relations in marriage is the topic of chapter 3. (We know some of you may be flipping straight to that one, now that you know it’s there. That’s okay. Do come back to the chap- ters 1 and 2, when you can.) Here there is so much potential for pleasure, and so much potential for pain. Don’t shy away from giving the topic of sex good consideration and honest discussion during engagement.

Finally, chapter 4 is about mission together. Marriage is for mission too. In particular, the focus here is on hospitality. It’s a sermon from the series that became the book This Momentary Marriage: A Parable of Permanence, which is where we’d send you to learn more about marriage following this eBook. For Christians, talking about ministry together, including hospitality (literally, in the New Testament, “love for strangers”) is essential preparation.

Marriage is big. What you’re considering or preparing for here is no trifle. Don’t think you can just add marriage as another layer to an already busy life. Marriage demands a full restart. Reevaluate your commitments, check your priorities, rethink your normal. Hopefully this eBook and other resources like it will help. It’s well worth the investment of serious questions and careful thought. For your joy, the good of others, and the glory of the church’s Groom.

— David Mathis
Executive Editor
desiringGod.org