Disciplines for Life/Confession: Doorway to Life

From Gospel Translations

“I thought you should know...”

“I’m ashamed to admit it but...”

Confession of sin is a painful discipline. It’s also a door- way to life. If we fail to use this door, we’ll find ourselves stumbling around in the deceitfulness of our own souls.

Scripture tells us to confess our sins to God and other people. Though this chapter will focus almost exclusively on person-to-person confession, we must begin by noting that transparency before God is essential. Without confessing our sins to God, we have no access to his saving and sanctifying grace. And while an initial confession of sin must accompany our conversion, it is also to be the ongoing practice of every child of God. “If we confess our sins,” the apostle John noted, “he is faithful and just and will for- give us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. If we claim we have not sinned, we make him out to be a liar and his word has no place in our lives” (1Jn 1:9-10).

In general, practicing the spiritual disciplines covered in this book is more difficult in private than in public. Fasting, praying, or studying the Bible as part of a group is far easier than doing those things alone. Confession is a different matter. I have always found it easier to confess my sins to God than to another person. Why? Perhaps because I know God is omniscient and that his love for me is perfect. Consequently, he already knows what I’ve done before I admit it to him, and I know he’ll respond in love, even in his correction. (People, on the other hand, are not as dependable.) I also know God will correct me whether I confess or not, so the sooner I get it out the better.

If I were fully aware of God’s holiness, my attitude toward confession might be different. I am the first to admit I have an inadequate fear of the Lord. I long to grow to the place where the sting of shame affects me more when I confess my sins to God than when I confess those same sins to my friends. But I’m not there yet, and in the meantime I’ve found that confessing to my brothers and sisters increases my fear of God and helps me grow in obedience.

Before we move on to the practice of this discipline, note that there is one occasion when confession to others is mandatory: when we’ve offended them. “If you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to your brother; then come and offer your gift” (Mt 5:23-24). When we’ve lied or gossiped or expressed anger to someone, we have an obligation to God and to that person to go quickly, admit our wrong,and make appropriate restitution.

Six Arguments for Accountability

Confession may be initially painful, but it’s also a gift to us. Not only does it glorify God, but it helps us in numerous ways. The following are things that should motivate us to confess our sins to others.

We overcome relational barriers. Sin ruins relationships. When we sin against someone, feelings of resentment or guilt often create a sense of alienation that can only be removed through confession. But confession isn’t limited to those we’ve offended or hurt. By acknowledging our failings to certain people who are close friends in our journey through life, we gain the benefits of accountability and a deeper friendship.

I won’t say it’s easy. It’s not unusual for me to fear anger, rejection, or disrespect when I confess certain sins to my friends. Yet invariably I hear things like, “I respect you for telling me”...“Now I’m convicted of the same thing”...“How can I help you to avoid that in the future?” Transparency builds trust and a depth of understanding. Close relationships are impossible without it.

We overcome fear of rejection. “I always thought that if people knew about my struggles, they’d kick me out of the church.” As a pastor, I’ve heard this refrain more times than I’d like to remember. Often I’ve responded by saying, “Shame for your sin and the humility of your confession demonstrate that you desire to grow. That’s all God requires and that’s all we require. This entire church is made up of people who struggle with sin in one form or another. The only people whom God allows us (actually commands us) to reject are those who, after repeated entreaty, refuse to admit to or turn from clearly defined sin.”